Advice & Tips On Love, Women, Dating & Sexuality

Question: I keep falling out of love, should i just settle?

(Posted by: Kristi on 2010-02-08 20:59:59)

I have gone through a long string of relationships, I've dated like 25 guys or something. It seems like after 2 or 3 months I lose interest. Even if they're really hot. Now I'm dating someone who has all the "qualities " I've been looking for (a lot in common, same religion, nice, funny, ambitious). However, it's been 2 months and I don't feel that I'm in "love ". I'm almost 30 and I want to get married and have a family. I don't want to be lonely in my life. Is it ok to just stay with this guy? He's a great guy. Or does he deserve someone who's as in love with him as he is with me? What is a commitment- phobic girl to do?

Posted by: Aurturo on 2010-02-08, 21:09:02

If he has all the "qualities " you're looking for, I think you should give him a chance. I am not suggesting you settle but you're at the 2 month mark which is where you seem to end things regularly. Love comes in many different ways and sometimes it's gradual. 30 isn't that old (I know it may feel that way) but even if this isn't the one, it's not the end of the world. I think it might also help to have this conversation with him. Above you mention about what he deserves, and that's valid - maybe you express how you're struggling it may give him a chance to address it; after all he deserves the chance to win you over so-to-speak. Good luck.

Posted by: Ribeye on 2010-02-08, 21:06:03

Be honest with yourself and with him, even if it will be an awkward conversation

Posted by: ekto s on 2010-02-08, 21:06:19

What does a commitment phobic do? You are already doing most of what you need to do, or he would not be interested in you. Sometimes love does not start quickly and excitingly. Sometimes it starts very slow and grows into something big and powerful. There is reality and there is fantasy. Which do you prefer? The fact that you have gone through 25 guys says a lot about you. You need to take a deeper look at what you are doing and what you are looking for. Never "settle ". You will be angry at yourself all the time. You need to comminucate better and learn about him in a deeper way. See if he is the guy who is for you. Maybe he is. Do some exciting things with him and maybe you will be more interested in him. If he can't think up some things to do, then you think and take him to where you want to go. Sometimes guys do not know what you are thinking about, so you have to lead them a little. The relationship can be whatever you make it.

Posted by: Sheogorah on 2010-02-08, 21:06:55

I dont think you can trust this serious of questions to a group of strangers. You need to look inside yourself to find the real asnwer.

Posted by: Amanda on 2010-02-08, 21:07:32

You need to take a look w/ in yourself. Find out why you're afraid of committment. Maybe you should tell him how you're feeling. answer mine? answers.yahoo.com/ question/ index;_ylt= AtKNcGvnNdrBqplX1.V7X.jsy6IX;_ylv= 3?qid= 20100208205403AAeuHiC