Advice & Tips On Love, Women, Dating & Sexuality

Question: I lost the love of my life. please please help.?

(Posted by: Kerbie on 2010-03-10 06:39:44)

Last year, I went out with a girl for a year, who I was friends with for many years before. She was perfect 0 She was absolutely breathtakingly stunning, smart (she was a doctor), was the kindest most warm hearted person I've ever met in my life. All the guys crushed on her so you can imagine how happy I was when we started going out. The year I spent with her was the happiest year of my life and and there was not one single thing wrong with her - she was like a goddess. When I was younger, my parents neglected me and I had a very unhappy upbringing, but she was the first person in my life that believed in me and truly loved me and gave me confidence I never had before. But then I started a new job and sat beside another woman. My girlfriend went away to visit her mother for a month in Canada, and while she was away I started to develop feelings for my coworker. She was nowhere near as perfect as my girlfriend I just seemed to go with her since my girlfriend was away, and I suppose out of sight. I dont know what was going through my mind. Before my girlfriend returned, i did the most stupid thing of my life. i packed up and eloped with my co worker to a different state, got a new phone number, new job and cut off all contact with my the girlfriend returning from canada and got my boss to tell her that i'd met someone else. i was too much of a coward to do it myself. me and my coworker soon feel apart and ive had a string of girlfriend since then, none of which have came anywhere near as perfect as my old girlfriend. i think about her everyday. she was the love of my life though i met her my old girlfriend) in a cafe yesterday when i was back home filling in some paperwork. she was kind and loving as usual and i told her that i know i was a jerk to her but i wanted to talk to her and explain the story. she me that i could always talk to her but since she had to get back to work, she gave me a phone number to call her on that night. she also told me to phone before 11 because she was going out (with her new boyfriend) anyway, i never called. i dont know why. i guess i was just too much of a coward. please help. what should i do? ive well and truly screwed up

Posted by: Arther on 2010-03-10, 06:54:26

Well if you're going to do muppety things then you'll have to live with the consequences. She's no longer available and good for her because it seems that if your perfect loved one is not in your line of sight for more than a few days, then you're going to elope with another woman. >_ > Move on like she has, you may find someone more suited to you but your ex does deserve an explanation for your daft act so call her and maybe get some counselling for yourself, seems you may have some issues about your past.

Posted by: Pegah on 2010-03-10, 06:44:19

You just have to move on. This is the only thing you can do since she deserves much better. You have learned from your mistake. If you got near a good person again, remember this lesson and don't screw things.

Posted by: Julie on 2010-03-10, 06:44:42

I think you have already done her enough harm, you may want to leave her alone and let her get on with her life with a fellow who will be in better control of his behavior.

Posted by: prabhat v on 2010-03-10, 06:45:07

Yeah u screwed up. now leave her alone

Posted by: Debra R on 2010-03-10, 08:10:04

Dearest Kerbie, You're right what you did was almost the most stupid thing of your life. Read the studiest later 1. you got involved with your co-worker 2. you married your co-worker / or lived together 3. you involved your boss 4. you and her feel apart 5. you started messing around with many girls 6. your life is miserable now. 7. they say you think the grass is greener on the other person's lawn 8. they also say you reap what you sow you left your girl and the girls you had can't measure up What happened? You said the year you spent with her was the happiest year of your life and and there was not one single thing wrong with her - she was like a goddess. She was the first person in your life that believed in you and truly loved you and gave you confidence you never had before plus she is a doctor. Your girlfriend went away to visit her mom for a month in Canada and would be returnng. While she was away you started to develop feelings for your co-worker. I guess you just couldn't help yourself. That is why I say long distant relationships are hard to maintain. You can't depend on a mate to be honest and faithful in your absence. Worse than developing feeling you eloped (which means ran off to get married in secret). You moved to a different state, got a new phone number, new job and cut off all contact with your ex gf, but the stupiest or punkest thing you did was got your boss to tell her that you met someone else. That was being a wimp and too much of a coward to do it yourself cause you knew you had no cause and it was a terrible thing to do to the person that you say you spent the happiest year of your life with and was the first person in your life that believed in you that truly loved you plus she helped bring out and develop your confidence. After all that you and the co-worker got together later broke up and then you went from woman to woman bad boy. You say you were back home and you met your ex in a cafe. Was that planned or did you run into her in the cafe? i know her personality and character was that same yesterday as it was the day you met her. I was time you wanted to explain to her what happened after she went to Canada. Though she didn't have time to listen cause she had to get back to work she gave you her number to call her later that night before 11. Yeah she has a new guy and he was taking her out. You see someone else saw in her the same thing you saw in her and now she is with them cause you didn't want a doctor you wanted a co-worker. After excepting her number you say you never called and you should never call. Don't fill her head with the saga of what was going on with you during the 30 days she left up until the time you get the courage to explain what the hell was going on with you. You say she is a doctor so she has good sense. After you tossed her like yesterday's garbage she got over you and got with a guy that will do the right thing by her and if he doesn't he can bet he'll be her ex. You had your chance so the best thing you can do now is be a better person for yourself and therefore a better person for the next woman you get with if there is one. Good Luck